Am I really growing?

October 28, 2026

Lately I’m experiencing these moments where I am made aware of my current age contrasted against something I’m doing that feels younger.

Then I’m jumping to another comparison.

Comparing against my parents and how they’ve always represented grown.

In their actions. In how they move. In how they speak. Especially Hooyo.

Hooyo has been and is always the most mature person I know.

Hooyo is always control.

Baaba sometimes breaks character and feels much younger.

After that, I correct myself immediately. I sit upright, speak in control, and try my best to represent grown.

And then I watch myself acting this out, while shame creeps in because it feels like I don’t got it.

This behavior that is younger than me, I should have dropped a long time ago.